Words...

"It is probably impossible to think without words, but if we permit ourselves to think with the wrong words, we shall soon be entertaining erroneous thoughts; for words, which are given us for the expression of thought, have a habit of going beyond their proper bounds and determining the content of thought."

-"Knowledge of the Holy," Tozer.

Again

Again

“A 40 year old Black Man has been shot by a police officer”

A Black Man has been shot by a police officer

Black Man shot by a police officer

Black Man shot by police

Man shot by police

Man shot...

Man killed!

Again,

--S.H.

As I: Five Question for America

As I: Five Questions for America

A Disconnected Connection as I stare at the screen

Sisters scream for the blood of my brothers

Proclaiming innocence, demanding Justice.

--But will it come?

As I scroll through my newsfeed horrid images corrupt my vision

Desensitized and dismayed

Another Black man at the hands of the law slain.

--What did he do?

Eyes stinging, heart heavy, as I stir in painful rage.

Disregarding age the scream of death snatched his Dreams.

He was only a child Playing, Reading, Driving, Breathing, Living.

--Was that a crime?

As I wait for my community restless in the streets,

Our signs and chants speak words lost in crimson puddles.

It’s here we sing our song for the world to see, raw yet muffled.

--How do we heal?

Inescapable fear as I face my kin.

My Black Men: Brothers, Nephews, Uncles and Cousins.

The illusive idea of safety drowned in their eyes, it’s distant.

Will he be next?

--S.H

Seconds -> Hours

Seconds to Hours

"We must use time wisely and forever realize that time is always ripe to do right." ~Nelson Mandela

Time. It's ticking by.
I'll hold you Accountable,
When you're by my side.

-SH

To the person who wrote #AllLivesMatter (Or Something Similar) On My Post

“Make sure if you are pulled over you have your licence and registration already out and sitting on the dashboard. When the officer approaches your vehicle keep your hands on the steering wheel and do not move them anywhere below that. I just want you to be safe and for nothing to happen to you.”

These words come from my Aunt as she talked to my brothers about their upcoming weekend trip to Atlanta. She is worried that there will be some sort of miscommunication between my brothers and the officer causing a harmful situation for them. In light of the recent events, this scenario is a realistic fear that runs rampant in the minds of anyone who loves a Black Man of any age.

Watching and reading the news coverage over the murders of Alton Sterling and Philando Castile my heart could not help but weep and be filled with the unwanted familiar pain when the world  lost Trayvon Martin, Michael Brown, Sandra Bland and so many others in the past two years. My heart grieved for their loved ones who would never be able to wrap their arms around them or hear their voices again. I was fearful for what these murders would do to those who are fed up with seeing young men die at the hands of the badge. I was worried at the innocence lost in the eyes of young ones as they witnessed this shameless violence plastered on every television and mobile device, replayed continuously.  I was also fearful of the world in which my nephews would grow up, that one day just because of their ethnicity and racial background someone could see them as a threat and take their lives.

As I expressed myself on social media, to some it was as if my opinion was invalid or hurtful because I decided to speak out for a specific group of people that I identify with and the pain I feel for them. A comment that stated “But I thought #AllLivesMatters” was the first response. In drawing attention to the murder of these two young men and stating that Black Lives Matter I did not state that “Only Black Lives Matter”. If one truly knew my heart they would know that I have love for every creature upon this Earth. Any loss of life leaves my heart heavy, but many folks leave relationships to solely a social media experience and that is a whole other problem. Their bravery is hidden behind their computer keys and they choose to believe what they want for the sake of argument. This is not me and shall never be me. So I was appalled when someone I thought knew my character well took this as a chance to shut me down or put me in my place.

Oppression is “prolonged cruel or unjust treatment or control”. This idea stems deep in our American History and can find its roots in the cargo boats, cotton fields, white hoods, “Colored” Signs, Stolen Songs/Rhymes, and Appropriation. One could even say it is a tradition and it is a sad time in America as we witness people agree that it is more important to stand up for tradition than speak out when there is blatant injustice.

Then the murder and the attack on the Policemen in Dallas. My eyes could not believe what I saw in the headlines. Police “Men” were only trying to protect and serve the protesters who had gathered that day. The senseless killing of the men in Baton Rouge a week later. How can we live in a world where murder, of all sorts, has become a norm. Taking their lives did not grant justice and will never grant justice.

Our Nation, Our World is so broken. We have built up a system that continues to oppress people vocally and murder them expecting silence. The only way we can heal from this as a Nation is to turn back to the Cross. Only Love casts out hate!  All of the acts that have taken the lives of these men and women are of hate or fear rooted in decades of hate.

Now I do not believe that we need to be silent ,as a People or a Nation, because this would yield nothing. The world needs to know our pain. They need to know our worries. They need to know our anger. I do believe that we need to protect ourselves and act knowing that one suspicious move could cause another life lost. Know that we need to speak out and reach out for laws and policies to be created. We have this freedom and it shall not be denied.

"Love Your Brother As You Love Thyself" ~Mathew 22:39

Love conquers all: death, pain, hate, and fear. True Love in its purest state was when Jesus gave his life for us to know Him. If one truly knows the Lord there is a heart change. The bible mentions this heart change in Ezekiel 11:19 “And I will give them one heart, and put a new spirit within them And I will take the heart of stone out of their flesh and give them a heart of flesh” and other passages like 2 Corinthians 5:17. It also tells you to “Love your brother as you love yourself” in Matthew 22:39”.

We are all equal in the eyes of the Lord, and all His children are told to love one another. This has no exemption of ethnicity or profession. After all Jesus, whom we desire resemble in heart, loves both the Samaritan Woman and Tax Collector.

I pray for my nation to know the Lord. As we come to Him as we truly know and walk with Him, then and only then will these injustices cease to exist.  

Pray With Me.

-SH

For Frankie

It is quite the task to capture a person in a poem. For each member of my team I composed a poem for their birthday in which I attempted this. I hope you enjoy!

For Frankie

‘’If you have only one smile in you give it to the people you love.” - Maya Angelou

If  I had to pick a word,

Just one.

Would it encompass and project…

All that needs to be heard?

----I dare not even try.

So I’ll begin with your smile and end with your heart.

Both edified as moments pass,

A reflection of the savior, pushing against the dark.

A flash of a smile, so sweet and ever so kind.

Never fails to leave a silly moment unshared

Or a laugh untold.

It shines,

with the radiance of God

It comforts,

It rejuvenates,

It spreads,

All for the sake of love, it permeates.

What would we do without that smile?

I am sure the moment we knew,

Seconds would be hours and mere inches miles.

So your radiance we need never lose,

Just to be Frank with you!

The works of your heart, cannot easily be dismissed.

It flows with the ticks of time.

Reaching out it covers,

A tiny snapshot of the sublime.

Warmth.

An image of the Father, it shimmers in gold--

One’s restful refuge from the storm. .

Your Hearts’ Beats

Breaks

Barriers.

Never failing to reveal its strength

Found in the Father.

An active projection,

Its purpose shall not be tamed.  .

So, Take these Two Hundred and Twenty-two.

Cause just one could not suffice.

Place them on your heart,

let that smile shine full and bright.

For it shows where the Spirit of God resides.

-SH

"A god begotten in the shadows..."

"A god begotten in the shadows of a fallen heart will quite naturally be no true likeness of the true God." - A.W. Tozer, The Knowledge of the Holy 

A Reflection on 2 Corinthians 4

I stumbled across this poem I wrote on December 25th 2013. I hope you enjoy.

Our Treasures in Jars of Clay 

You made Me to know me

and my actions led to Death

But freedom came in Your Son

My sufficient payment for debt.

Our Treasures in Jars of Clay

A redeeming Spirit of Faith

We Seek a life of Reflection

For Jesus's Sake

I Believe, I Speak

Your extension of Grace covers me

How can I lose heart?

When You've allowed me to see.

"Though our outer self is wasting away,

Our inner self is being renewed day by day."*

In preparation for Your Glory

The eternal, the Unseen.

*2 Cor 4:16

-SH

For Blair

It is quite the task to capture a person in a poem. For each member of my team I composed a poem for their birthday in which I attempted this. I hope you enjoy!

For Blair

Blair on left, Me on right.

For Blair: A Winds' Song 

“Poetry is when an emotion has found thought and the thought has found words.”- Robert Frost

Soft whispers with the breeze, while it laughs through the vivacious palm trees.

Transparent rays for days, as the Son slides through,

Wave after wave as the Spirit issues.

Does anyone stop to acknowledge this wind?

As the morning lay on the leaves, I witnessed this breeze

I did,

And this made all the difference.

Sweeping with sweet aromas

With the leaves it danced and played.

Resting on earth, all the while it hummed and swayed.

Behind a tree, I stole a peak and met his honey eyes.

Instantaneously sweetness pierced me,

As he ascended back into the skies.

Try to capture him, and you will surely fail.

For as I reached out my hands,

He slipped through my fingernails.

Coming and going with ease,

Warmth perpetually felt but not always seen.

Santa Anas, this is not.

Blustery refreshment, timeless simplicity,

Unable to put Him in a box, this wind carries.

So how does one not acknowledge this wind.

As the dusk draws in the dawn, I witnessed His breezy song,

This I did,

And this made all the difference.

-SH

For Sarah

It is quite the task to capture a person in a poem. For each member of my team I composed a poem for their birthday in which I attempted this. I hope you enjoy!

For Sarah

Sarah on the left, Me on the Right 

It’s the size of your hands

It’s the size of your heart

The way your laughs comfort

And your chuckle warns

From “Silly Lilly” to “Sar-Rah”

You are a kid and a mom,

A KidMom, Our KidMom,

And we wouldn't want it any other way.

So to the woman who saves the day

Let the light of the Lord shine

Crank up that country-thug stuff

Laugh until the tears come

Never lose that Spirit, It’s got something.
-SH

For Rebecca

It is quite the task to capture a person in a poem. For each member of my team I composed a poem for their birthday in which I attempted this. I hope you enjoy!

For Rebecca 

It’s in your smile,

Brightened Brilliantly with time.

Wise words slip through that smile.

Life giving words of strength.

Etched in my soul and memory.

Yes, it’s in that smile.

It’s in your eyes,

Smokey blues, far from cloudy.

Objective lens that takes in and sees.

Not one glimmer of light unseen or vibrant color missed.

Captured in a flash, now forever infinite.

Yes, it’s in those eyes.

It’s in your laugh.

Paralyzing hysteria that's contagious.

Howling in joyful noises,

Feeding our spirits. It keeps us high.

Unleashed and Untamed, Unforgettable.

Yeah, It’s in that laugh.

-SH

The One About Community

God has truly blessed me with an amazing team here on STINT. Lately I have been spending a lot of time studying and reflecting on what Godly community is. My reflections worked themselves into a poem.


"Iron Sharpens Iron"

Ernest hearts overflowing,
Glad and WILLING to Serve
Our life songs sings compassionate love.
Lips sealed in Humbleness,

My team in  Guatapé, Colombia.

Breathing words from the wellspring of Life.
Like-mindedness Manifested.

Yeah, this is the community of mine.

Iron Sharpens Iron, you see.
That is His plan for You and Me.

Harmonious Bonds of Peace
Transcending, though time is fleeting.
In one mind and one accord
His Spirit residing with 3 or more
Gathered in His Name
A community that prays, stays...Interceding.

Iron Sharpens Iron, you see,
That is His plan for You and Me.

Merely sinners, More than Conquers
Called to a life of Grace
Dying to ourselves, It's HIM we elevate.
Highest praises, heightened and raised.
Vulnerability in all Sincerity
Spurring one another on toward love and good deeds.

Iron sharpens Iron, you see
That is His plan for You and Me.

"How Good and Pleasant it is when God's people live in unity"
This truth rings and our souls acknowledge this blessing.
There is something special, something that just seems right.
When tears stream, laughs echo and take flight
The gift of a Bond given by God.
My community, thoroughfare of Love that yeilds Light.

Iron Sharpens Iron you see,
That is God's plan for You and Me.


-S.H. 1/31/16

National Poetry Day 2015: Light

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.”

He’s Hope in darkness,

Unveiling the unknown. only,

in Light, my path’s Shown.

-SH

I made it!

The view from our roof, you can see the ocean in the background. 

I am so excited to report that this is my first post in the Dominican Republic!!!

It has been a long time coming and these past few days have been a crazy cyclone of emotions and activities. Between getting a call that someone wanted to finish my support and touching down in Santo Domingo my heart has been filled. Filled with the sorrow of leaving my loved ones and the joy of finally reaching the place it has been called to for this season of life.

My first view of the Island! 

Due to the craziness of life these past days, It didn't really sink in until I was on the flights over here. My heart was overwhelmed by the efforts of the many who helped me this summer and these past months. When I peered out the window and saw the island that I would call home this year I could not help but shed tears of joy and relief. In this moment I was at peace. 

It amazes me so that in the matters of a few hours or even a day you can be in a new country, or on the other side of the world. It makes me think about Jesus, Barnabas, Paul and the other Apostles. They traveled for days by feet, boat, and harsher conditions for the sake of the Good News. I can only assume that if they had the luxury of hopping on a plane, as we do, they would constantly fly all over the world for the Gospel! 

So this year I will look to Jesus and these men as my examples of the urgency of God's word and plan. Pray for me as I work with the Dominicans here. That I will love them with the heart of the Lord and that all of our hearts would carry the words of the Lord forever! 

I want to say thank you again to all who have helped get me here. I really could not be here without you and I will continue to trust that God will work in your lives this year also!

So here I am, 91 degree weather and all, so happy to have begun my journey! 

For His Glory 

Shanee Howard 

Also song of the moment, can you tell I am motivated: "Tell the World" - Lacrae

You have Beautiful Feet too!!!

This past month has literally been up in the air; concerning when final goodbyes are made, when I should begin packing, as well as when I will finally be in the Dominican Republic. It has been challenging physically, mentally, and spiritually, but my God already had a plan in place.

Though some days I drove the struggle bus, God has placed a community of believers and encouragers around me. So first, if you have encouraged me in some way these past months, THANK YOU! Sometimes it felt as if I was in the mist of a battle and your words and actions were life giving. So as my 4 year old nephew would say, "Thank you, for hours!" :) 

I have never been more attuned to God's plan for community among believers, it is not only a good thing, it is imperative. The word says in Hebrews 10:24-25

"24 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, 25 not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching."

Based on the words in this scripture, community strays away from just being fellowship and hanging out but is transformed into so much more. Community is an active exchange that helps the Lord's body to be His hands and feet, a thing that makes us look more like Him.

Community is speaking life and the truth of the word over your brothers and sister. Community is reminding them of the things God has called them to do. Community is making an effort to spend time with one another, not just for recreation, but to be intentional about the things of God. Community is being aware that as Christians today we are called to a greater mission, to reach the world before the return of Christ, and in this awareness acting to help one other follow the path God has for them closely. 

In these past months, all of those who have encouraged me somehow, prayed for me, or even gave me a hug I am so thankful and blessed by this. In your kind words and actions you have helped me take steps closer to serving the Lord this next year in the DR. You have shown me Community on a scale that ranges from close family members to strangers that I have never met acting on God's behalf. Thank you for believing in my calling. 

The word says, "How beautiful are the feet of those who share the good news." We have pretty feet y'all!! I am not going to the Dominican Republic by myself, I have a team of people who are partnering with me financially and prayerfully, without you all I would not be able to go. By you sending me to the DR you are also partaking in helping reach the World with the gospel. So take a good look, you have beautiful feet too! 

My actual feet >.<  (Spring Break 2015, PCB)

So as this year continues I hope that you are able to share with those around you what God is doing in the DR, also I hope that He will give you opportunities to be lights in your mission fields here, at home. I am praying for all of you! 

Just to give you an update on support, I am now a little over $4,000 from being fully funded. Praise God, that I am almost to 100%!!!!! I should be leaving before this weekend is up! 

So again a BIG THANK YOU!

For His Glory,

Shanee Howard

Also my song for the moment: "No Longer Slaves"- Bethel

If it could go wrong, it did.........

It would be nice to live in a world where everything goes perfectly and according to plan? Yes it sure would be, but unfortunately we live in a broken world. A world with a real enemy, who wants to steal our joy and deter us from our Father's work. (1 John 5:19) 

Early this month, my team left for the Dominican Republic while I stayed back in Kentucky. I had a bit of support to finish before I could join them. I didn't think it would be as hard as it was to watch them begin our STINT year while I was here, but it was. After all I am supposed to be one of those smiling faces in their pictures.

While my team left I also fell so ill that it was hard for me to even leave my house for 3 days, my Aunt entered the hospital, and an extended family member passed away suddenly.

All of these events brought their fair share of anxiety, tears, and frustration.

During the time I needed to work my hardest to finish support, I either had no energy or was moving from event to event with hardly enough time I thought I needed to devote to it.

I felt completely out of control and I did not like this.

The enemy was in full attack mode, but Praise the Lord that He has provided me a team of prayer warriors who are lifting me in prayer always. People all of the world who I know personally and those I have never met who are on this journey with me.

Some days the only thing I could do was pray to the Father and trust that he will get me through this rough patch. With many speaking truth over me and reminding me that He is working all things together for my GOOD!

Today I can tell you that I have been in contact with my team and have shared with them, my Aunt is out of the hospital, I am feeling 100% better, and I am now 14% away from being fully funded!

God is continuing to provide a way, even through these tough times. I will continue to cling to the cross and His truth! "The LORD is my strength and my sheild; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him." Psalm 28:7

For His Glory
Shanee :)

Also the song of the moment is "Great is thy Faithfulness"- Jimmy  Needham